


But I Still Care

by Sismyn



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Depression, Gen, PTSD, and such, eleven days post 1.13, malex from Alex's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 04:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20075953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sismyn/pseuds/Sismyn
Summary: Alex tells Rosa the story of Malex. She doesn't like the current ending.





	But I Still Care

**Author's Note:**

> What I finished instead of the 7 other RNM WIPs I have going <.<  
[It's Alright; Mother Mother](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_5JCHMhztM)

* * *

It hurt. Of course it did, how could it not? He was too little, too late for Michael, and Maria had made a promise and broke it. And Alex had to find out from Rosa.

This was on top of the fact that apparently Max had died or very nearly in the process of resurrecting Rosa, and Kyle had gotten shot by and subsequently shot up his father with barbiturates. Jenna was already in Ohio picking up her sister, racist Hank was found dead in the Wild Pony parking lot and Flint was missing. 

Great. Everything was coming up roses.

First and foremost, he had to deal with his father. Oh, how Alex wanted to be done and through with Jesse Manes. He thought he would do as Alex said, but it seemed he preferred a dishonorable discharge. For now, they kept him unconscious, buried him under paperwork, and pretended he was a John Doe. It wouldn't take long for him to be reported missing by the base, but they had time to get a story straight. 

Next, Alex wanted to help with the Max situation, but that was full-blown alien stuff, and all he could offer was to go through the research they'd obtained from Caulfield. He spent ten days back and forth between the cabin and the bunker poring over the information before Liz showed up at the cabin with Rosa to drop her off for a new identity.

She took one look at him in the door and said, "Please tell me you're at least still gay." 

He laughed and waved her into his office.

Helping with her was far easier. She was used to fake identities, and she watched Alex create her a new one in fascination as they listened to decade old Panic! At The Disco albums. 

"You are way more fun than Maria or Liz," she told him. 

"What? No way. Liz, sure, but Maria, the self-proclaimed fun friend?" Alex tapped his foot in front of the printer where her ID was half out. Rosa had winked at the camera. It was maybe the best license picture he'd ever seen.

"Well, Maria just goes on and on about how her _ boyfriend _ doesn't talk to her."

He froze. "Who?"

"Does everyone and their mother have an alien boyfriend? I don't see the appeal."

He turned and searched her annoyed face. "Michael?"

"He's the only alien boy left." Rosa squinted at him. "She didn't tell you?"

Suddenly the fact that Michael had never shown up made a lot more sense, and he had to sit down. 

"Alex? What I miss? You look wrecked." She gently touched his shoulder, and Alex tried to get his face under control without much success. Rosa wasn't one to mess around with love. 

Where could he even start?

Rosa frowned and rubbed his shoulder patiently as he tried to form words. 

"I've loved Michael since I was seventeen," he said finally. "I can't just... stop. I've tried. I can't."

"Oh, shit," Rosa said sympathetically. "And he?"

"Loved me, too. We're just, we were never on the same page. So much shit has happened, especially to him in the last year, I thought he needed some space after everything." He looked up to Rosa. "They're really together?"

"She hasn't actually used the word boyfriend," she said hastily, eyes wide. "She doesn't use that word on people who don't talk to her. But it sounded to me like they've, uh, hooked up more than a few times."

Alex shut his eyes and leaned back. "She told me it wouldn't happen again. We aren't together anymore, but she said she didn't even like Michael like that."

"What the fuck?" Rosa said sharply, and Alex jumped slightly at her snarl. "This isn't high school, she can't go back on shit like that."

"Rosa, we're all adults here, if that's what they want then it's none of my business."

She crossed her arms and turned her glare on him. "You love him and she knew?"

"I don't know what she knows. That I loved him, yes, but I didn't say it outright at the time because I just wanted to drink." He waved his hand. "I want a drink now."

"You gonna share?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Should you be drinking?"

"No. But this is some shit, babe. Why weren't you together before everything happened?"

Alex sighed. "It's a long story."

"I got nowhere to be. _ Dime_."

"You remember how I had a giant crush on a guy at like, the end of junior year? Your senior year?"

"Yeah. Michael?"

He nodded. "I spent most of senior year thinking he was straight--"

"I vaguely remember you bemoaning that," she said. "You were like, why aren't any of the cute boys gay?"

Alex gave a small laugh but sobered as he continued. "He stole my guitar from the music room once, and I-I found out he was living in his truck, so I told him about our tool shed. And he started staying there a little while after prom. And then I... I gave him my brother's old guitar and tried to kiss him but he turned away."

"Ouch."

"But then he showed up the next afternoon at the museum and kissed the hell out of me in the UFO exhibit."

"Michael did? At the alien museum? In the UFO exhibit?"

Alex groaned. "Shut up, I didn't know then."

She grinned.

"And I took him home, and you know, it would've been the best day of my life if I wasn't a stupid kid who forgot what time his homophobic asshole father was getting home."

Her grin fell away instantly. "He caught you two?"

He looked down and nodded. "I knew what he was like so I tried to protect Michael from him, but he, my dad, he--"

"You don't have to tell me, Alex. I know your dad's a piece of shit. I have functioning eyes, babe." When he had no reply but a shaky breath, she said, "The sheriff was helping me recover. I don't know if he was ever able to do anything, but I told him you were hurting whenever I saw him."

"He left me this cabin. There was probably nothing else he could do." He rubbed his forehead. "That day... That was the same day you died. But I didn't know Michael had anything to do with it, so I thought it was me-- I thought it was my dad who drove him away."

"Jesus."

Alex paused. "Have you seen Michael's hand since you got back?"

She shrugged. "Haven't seen him since he helped us stuff Max into a pod. Kinda trying to avoid the aliens, to be honest."

"They're still people, Rosa," he assured her.

"People who made some pretty big mistakes. I'll get over it. Maybe. Eventually. What about his hand?"

"My dad fucked up his left hand when he--" He couldn't spit it out, but Rosa understood.

"_Jesus_. So you joined the Air Force 'cause of that?"

"He gave me the form, my dad. Didn't have to say 'or else.' I went. I wanted to protect Michael, and I wanted to-- I wanted to defeat my father."

"Kyle said he's in a coma, I bet you could kick his ass now." Rosa hopped down from her seat on the desk as if she planned on doing just that. 

"I kicked his ass months ago," Alex said flippantly. She leaned back in disappointment. "I'm trying to get through everything he's ruined. Trying to fix some of it."

She narrowed her eyes but didn't comment. "And after you joined up?"

"I came back here for Michael every chance I got, even if I couldn't always see him because my father hovered. And it was good, when I could see him, until I got guilty about his hand or how he-- he didn't go to college--"

"Wait," Rosa said, tapping her forehead. "He didn't go? I remember him opening the acceptance letter at the Crashdown and practically screaming about it, he was so excited."

"He told me later he didn't go because he had to keep an eye on Isobel, to make sure she didn't disappear inside herself again, but I thought it was my fault."

"Narcissistic much?"

Alex poked her in the flank. "I didn't know, I didn't know until last year they were even aliens."

"I'm kidding, Alex. And you came back to Roswell last year, didn't you?"

He kicked his right leg out slightly. "Courtesy one IED. They would have let me go anywhere. I wanted to come here."

"Because of Michael?"

He nodded, jaw tight. "If it wasn't for him... I love Maria, Mimi, the Pony, and the Crashdown, but they're not enough to keep me here. I would follow Michael into hell."

"We're already in Ros-hell." Rosa pushed on his shoulder. "God, write a song about it, you sap."

"Cute how you think I don't have a hidden folder of lyrics on my laptop." She raised an eyebrow, but he shook his head. "So I came back, but I didn't go looking for him, because I was still getting used to everything and I had to be around my father more, but of course the first thing they send me out to do after being at a desk for ages is to check out Foster Ranch."

Rosa made a face. "What's the government want with a dairy farm?"

"Build a complex. They bought up a ton of them." He shrugged. "But Michael was working there and had his trailer parked out back. And, shit, I never let him see me in my uniform before. And my dad was there, too. So we got off on the wrong foot. And then the chemists we had testing the ground said they found P2P around his trailer."

Rosa raised her eyebrows. "You thought he was cooking meth?"

"I know it was ridiculous, but I couldn't think of any other explanation. And he's since told me one of his shitty foster families up in Albuquerque were meth heads." Alex could hear the anger boiling under his voice, and it was partly for himself, for the way he'd accused Michael when he meant to be gentler, and partly for the foster families who had let Michael down. "I confronted him about it at the reunion. I thought maybe he was just trying to make money, and I could help him get out of it, but he told me it wasn't P2P at all."

"Alien stuff?" she guessed. 

"As it turned out. Later on he found me alone, and we kissed, and it was like, it was like--" Alex smiled at the memory of Michael's hands cupping his face. "I was finally home."

Rosa didn't reply, and when he looked up she was full-on gaping at him. 

"What?"

"I'm breaking them up."

Alex stood hastily and followed her as she stalked through the cabin. "No, Rosa, if Michael doesn't want me any more--" His voice cracked. "That's his choice."

She grabbed his car keys. "We'll see about that."

"Wait, wait. I'm not finished. Okay? Let me finish. It's not that simple." He indicated the couch. She frowned and stuffed the keys in her pocket before she sat down. "I had to leave the reunion not long after that, and the next time I saw him it was when I had to kick him off of Foster Ranch because the sale went through."

"Geez."

"Yeah, I was hoping he wouldn't be there, because the uniform... makes me different, and I still had a bunch of issues I was working through. But he drove up while I was putting up the eviction notice. I told him what happened at the reunion couldn't happen again, and he said he had gotten wasted and couldn't remember."

"Was that true?"

Alex shook his head. "He wasn't drunk when he found me. I don't think he was even buzzed anymore by then."

"So, he was just trying to get under your skin?"

"Probably. And he said something about the UFO crash being a historical site that I laughed at, go figure. We were both being dicks."

"Romantic."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Then there was, Maria threw a 90s night for you at the Wild Pony, and I saw him for a second at one point. And I... I wished he was sitting with us, but he was with his sister."

"Very high school. He was always sitting with Max and Isobel at lunch."

"Yeah, 'cause he wouldn't have had anything to eat otherwise."

"Oh. Christ. Okay, then what?"

"I was nervous, but I wanted to talk to him anyway."

"You're shit at talking."

He groaned. "I know. _Try_ to talk to him. I drove up to Foster Ranch again in the morning and caught him packing up. And..." He shut his eyes in consideration. "I thought I ruined his life, so I didn't know how he can look at me like I'd never hurt him, because I know I did just walking away over and over. I remember what I've done every time he looks away, but when I told him that, he said..." He looked Rosa straight in the eye. "I never look away. Not really."

She put her hand over her heart. "Holy fuck I'm getting secondhand yearning. What did you say to that?"

"What could I say? I was speechless and worried I'd screw it up, and I had to kiss him."

"Yeah, that's reasonable."

"So I slept with him, but I think that because I didn't say anything he maybe thought I just wanted that. He had to move his trailer right after, and I didn't follow him, I went home. But I kept seeing him and I'm-- I'm not proud, Rosa, I would leave every time because I thought I'd get him hurt again. And the, the one night I stayed over, after like two weeks, he was so happy, and I fucked it up," he said, exasperated with himself. 

"What? How?"

"Isobel showed up to see Michael, and I freaked out because the last time someone caught us together we-- he--"

Rosa patted his hand. "It's all right. Hey, you can't help remembering that."

"But it was _ Isobel _ and I couldn't explain my reaction, and he was so hurt and just left the trailer to talk to her, and I sat there feeling like a fuck up until she left and I heard him working. But Isobel reminded me that there was a veterans fundraiser at the drive-in that night, so I figured he'd be there for her. I thought I could try to make it up to him... But I fucked that up, too."

"Okay, Alex, first of all, I'm gonna be your wing woman from now on because clearly you suck. How did you fuck up the drive-in?"

"I didn't mean to! I wasn't even all that worried at first, I _ wanted _ to be with him, be seen with him, I didn't want him to think that was the problem, but it was a veterans fundraiser, Rosa. My dad was there and he-- he got in my head, and then I saw Michael selling copper, and I called him a criminal, and it was a disaster, I really hurt him." Alex took a deep breath. "I can never tell what hurts him more, fucking up when I'm with him or not being with him. I wish I didn't hurt him at all."

Rosa rubbed her chin a moment before she said brightly, "I'll straight up murder your father. Solve that problem. They can't convict someone who's dead!"

He gave a hollow laugh. He was already seriously considering pulling him off life support when the time came. Alex waved at his computer. "Too late, you already have a paper trail."

"Death is wasted on the living," she said. "What then?"

"Then... Did Kyle tell you about Project Shepherd?"

"A bit. You sent your dad away and then took it over because of a bunch of alien murders?"

"Right. And that's when I found out about aliens and, specifically, Michael and his siblings. What do you do with that information?"

"In my experience, get murdered by an alien about it," Rosa said helpfully. 

"Not the ideal, is it? I saw Michael at one point, after I found out but before I was actually ready to talk to him, and I-I panicked and told him it was over. And I think he's only ever had angry breakups because he thought we should be yelling and, god, I hate to think that. But we were definitely not together when he and Maria first hooked up, hadn't been in like a month or two."

"Damn. Can you say _ rebound _ though?"

Alex made a face. "I don't think that's what it was. I don't know, though. Kyle convinced me to go talk to him the next day but I really didn't know what to say, especially when Michael took off his boot and Maria's necklace fell out."

There was a beat before Rosa said, "Okay, I have questions."

"No, I don't know how it got in there either and frankly I don't want to know, point is, he had it and I could tell by the way he looked at it that--" Alex shook his head and scrubbed his hands across his face. "I wanted to run. I made up some excuse for being there about my car and wanting to see Sanders, and he made this noise. I can't describe it. It was like, of _ course _ I was leaving. Again. So I turned around and told him I loved him and I wanted to at least be friends, to get to know him. And he cut through all that and asked if I wanted to know _ what _ he was. And he was so resigned the whole conversation, like--"

Rosa caught his eye with a grimace.

"Shit. Shit. Shut up, I am so bad at talking!" Alex sunk back into his chair, hand over his face. "I deserve this. I do. I hurt him. I'm not even done yet, I only made it worse."

"But you talked to him?"

"Yeah, a little about the alien stuff and the government project but mostly about him. He showed me where he keeps all the alien stuff in a bunker, even though I'd literally just told him about the government conspiracy. Said if anyone was going to destroy him, it might as well be me. I've hurt him enough that he thinks I could do that to him," he said miserably. "And then he showed me this alien glass console he's trying to rebuild from the crash. He said he thinks he could attach it to a vehicle and leave the planet." 

Rosa snorted derisively. "Yeah, right. He's too pussy to leave."

Alex looked at her blearily. "Jim left a big piece of alien glass for me to find in your creepy sobriety basement, it's how I even started looking into my father and Project Shepherd. I think it might be the last piece he needs. If anyone could build a spaceship, it's Michael, and ironically, I'm too scared of him leaving to give it to him. I told him I needed to process that but I'd talk more with him soon and I left."

She nodded. "You freaked out."

"I freaked the hell out. I couldn't imagine living on a planet without Michael. What did Kyle tell you about Caulfield? Anything?"

"He said it was a holding facility for survivors of the crash and government sanctioned torture-slash-genocide. Which is a lot of big words, so correct me if I'm wrong, but it was an alien prison that got blown up?"

"Right. We found it from the letters Jim left him. We did some digging and got some satellite readings and... I wanted to bring Michael in because he was looking for family. And he found it, you know. His mom was there."

Rosa swore, and Alex pawed at his eyes. It wasn't fair, not in the slightest, and his heart ached for what Michael lost, for what he'd hardly even known he had. 

"He was desperate to get her out, and he broke the glass and triggered a failsafe that blew up the prison, and he-- he refused to leave, Rosa, he didn't want to leave her and he was going to die there and I couldn't let him, and I couldn't leave without him--"

She let out a small shriek and smacked at his arm. "You would have died with him! That's the most. stupidly. romantic. _ bullshit _ I've ever. fucking. heard. Alex!" She kept smacking at him to punctuate her words until he waved her off. 

"Well, we didn't, okay! His mom did something alien and talked to him and told him she loved him and to run, and we got out of there, barely. I have never seen him so despondent as the drive back and there was nothing I could do about it. What do I do when my own father destroys everything he was looking for in one fell swoop? That's on me. That's on me."

"The hell it is, babe." Her face was sour. 

"Did Kyle tell you my father also murdered Jim by pushing him into a cell with an alien that causes rapid onset cancer?"

Rosa's mouth thinned into a line. "No," she said finally. "I got annoyed hearing about the alien stuff and veered off topic before he said. But Alex, you aren't your dad, you're not responsible for him."

"But I could have done something sooner. If I had reported him for child abuse, or not given him a chance to come back--"

"As if it would have stuck. You know better, you always knew better. Alex! Our parents are not our responsibility!"

He looked at her evenly. 

"I sent my mom away, Alex. I sent her away because of her shit and she never came back and she still hurt Liz. Rotten people always find a way to be rotten. It's not on you."

"_I_ asked Michael to come with us."

"And he got to see them."

"How they were tortured for _ decades_. If Kyle and I had gone alone, maybe we could have come up with a plan to get them out of there--"

"Or maybe," Rosa interrupted, "He would never have gotten to meet them at all. _ Lo hecho, hecho está_. You can't change it."

Alex sighed. "There was a security video of my dad pushing Jim. The longer I watched it, the more I saw myself in his place, his face in the mirror."

"Alex, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you are fucked in the head."

"I know. Believe me, I know. I went to go see Michael later that night, but he wasn't at the trailer, so I waited for him inside 'cause it started pouring. I had to tell him what I meant. I told him at Caulfield he was my family and I thought I could help, I don't know, I just had to see him. And he fucking comes in covered in blood and claimed it wasn't his, so I just, I tried to tell him what I felt, but I don't think I succeeded, and he told me to come back to talk the next day and ran out. That was the last time I saw him. He never showed."

"That was the day I came back?"

Alex nodded. "Kyle told me Max killed Noah that night, which I think was at about the same time he got shot by my dad. I stopped waiting in the morning when Kyle called me about that situation. I left Michael a note, but I figured he was processing, especially when I found out he lost his brother."

She watched him for a moment before she hopped up. "That's it, then? Great, let's go to the Wild Pony, I need to have some Conversations."

"Seriously? If they want to be together, I'm not going to stop that, no matter how I feel about it. Rosa, I'm not taking anything else away from him. I'm not going to hurt him anymore."

"Everything you just told me, Maria doesn't know any of it. She doesn't know Michael is grieving because he won't talk to her, he wasn't even going to tell her he's an alien, I had to push that issue! And to me that amounts to, he's using her to distract himself, which, sorry, I'm not letting that happen to Maria." He was still seated, so she kicked at his metal leg. "I can't believe both of you caught feelings for _ Guerin_."

"I didn't _ catch feelings_\--"

Rosa pulled him up roughly and brushed his shoulders off. "Okay I get it babe you're in love let's go get your man."

"Give me my keys, you don't need to mess with my settings," he said as he grabbed his jacket. "I'm not making any demands, Rosa, I'm just going to make sure Maria knows Michael's gone through hell."

She tossed him his keys and followed him out to his car. "Fine, but you have to tell Michael what you really meant, too. He's grieving, and he should know he has you."

Alex drove stiffly until Rosa goaded him into singing along, and the car turned into their own stream of highly dramatic music videos. 

* * *

The Wild Pony wasn't open for business yet, but they found the door unlocked anyway. Rosa went in ahead and told him to wait, so he leaned against the wall outside. His stomach dropped when he saw Michael's truck parked in the back corner of the lot.

The door opened, and he turned, expecting Rosa, but saw Maria stepping out gingerly instead. "Hey," she said softly, as if she was afraid she would spook him.

"Hey," he replied cautiously.

"I just got kicked out of my own bar." She scuffed her shoe across the ground. "Alex, I'm sorry. I really thought that Texas didn't mean anything when I told you, and it turned out to be a lie, and I'm sorry. You should have found that out from me. I didn't know how to tell you. Michael's been staying here with me, but that's it, hand to god. He's been sleeping, mostly. Refusing to talk the rest of the time."

He sighed. He couldn't fault her for falling for him. "He really sneaks up on you, doesn't he?"

She snorted. "Yeah, I thought he was the usual riffraff for the longest time, but he started showing up for me. And he-- he said you two were long over." He couldn't help a wince and fire washed over her face. "Did he lie?"

"No, we haven't been together in months, but you don't know everything. There's something in particular I need to tell you because I suspect he won't."

"What's that?"

"You know he misses Max, and they expect they'll be able to bring him back."

"Right?"

"The day before Max resurrected Rosa, he lost his mother right after he met her."

Maria's hand flew to her mouth. 

"Yeah. So... I know I don't have the right to say anything about your relationship, but Maria, please be gentle with him. Please."

"We're not-- it's not like that, Alex. I need open communication, and he wouldn't tell me anything. I knew his grief was too big to just be Max, but he wouldn't say. I don't--"

They were interrupted by the sound of Rosa yelling in Spanish, and they both rushed inside. Michael sat beside her on the counter, hands over his face. She spotted them and said, "I can't _ stand _ white people!"

Michael put his hands down. "I'm an alien. We've been..." He trailed off, jaw gone slack, when he saw Alex. 

Rosa jumped down and grabbed Maria's arm to drag her back outside. "Let's swap!"

Alex warily sat on the nearest stool, and Michael tracked him just as guardedly. 

"Hi, Guerin. You doing okay?"

He pulled one of his legs onto the bar. "I honestly don't know what I'm doing. I'm not even sure I'm still alive. Half the time I'm not even in my body."

"You're dissociating?"

Michael only shrugged. 

"That's a PTSD symptom, Guerin."

He drew up his other leg and wrapped his arms around them. He was making himself small, and Alex wasn't sure why.

"Have you been back to the Airstream? I left you a note."

"No." He shook his head. "Things keep happening there and I don't want things to keep happening. I should have told you I wasn't coming, but I've been tired. That was yesterday--" He suddenly looked uncertain. "Right?"

Alex wanted to reach for him and protect him from everything, but he kept his hands to himself. "Guerin, it's been a week, almost two, since then."

Michael blinked at him. "What?"

"You've been holed up here for eleven days, apparently."

He could see his eyes getting wet. "Sanders is gonna kill me."

"No, he won't." Alex stood up and got closer, though he was still afraid his touch wouldn't be welcome. "You're allowed to grieve. I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm really not walking away again, Guerin."

The dam burst, and before he knew it, Michael was holding onto him for dear life and sobbing into his jacket. He ran his hands down his back soothingly. 

The front door opened again, but Alex didn't turn and Michael didn't stop. 

"Jesus shit," Rosa said. "Back outside."

"Yup," Maria agreed. They left.

It took him quite a while to settle down, but Alex let him get it all out. 

"You could shatter me," Michael mumbled.

"I wouldn't." He promised by pressing his lips to his temple.

"There wouldn't be much left of me, Alex. On top of Max and my mom and Caulfield and Noah."

Alex nodded. "I understand that. I do. I'll give you space, whatever you need. But I still care about you, so please don't shut me out."

"Thank you. For understanding." He pressed their foreheads together. "I am... so tired, Alex."

"Hey, PTSD is exhausting. What you've been through, is exhausting."

"I don't even know what day it is. I sh-- I should call Isobel." Michael searched his pockets and eventually dropped his arms, and Alex feared he was about to start hyperventilating. "I don't know where my phone is. She's probably so pissed at me."

"Here," Alex said, and he pulled out his own. As Michael tapped out her number, he added, "She won't be. Isobel loves you. And you should know, Guerin, I love you, present tense."

The phone slipped from his hand, and Alex caught it with a frown. "You do?"

"You don't have to sound so surprised," he said uncomfortably. "I have since I was seventeen. I never stopped."

"You said you wanted to be friends."

Hindsight is twenty twenty, Alex thought. "I want to be whatever you'll let me be. If that's friends, great. If it's-- if it's like, boyfriends, even better. If you want me to get the hell away from you, I will."

Michael jostled his phone to squeeze him tightly. "I never want that, for you to leave, never."

Alex brushed his hair out of his face. "How about we be friends for now, I figure out how to talk to you, and we see where it goes from there when you feel better?"

He nodded and accepted the phone to call his sister. "Stay close, Alex." He patted his knee and sat back on the stool. "Isobel? Hey, it's Michael."

The front door opened again. "It's too fucking hot outside."

Maria eyed the two men and went behind the bar to pour everyone a glass of water. She shooed Michael off the counter top as Rosa plopped down beside Alex. 

They pretended not to listen to Michael as he made several apologies to Isobel and told her where he was before he finally hung up and returned Alex's phone. He looked up at Maria. "Isobel's coming to pick me up soon. Thank you for letting me stay here. I hadn't intended to stay so long. I lost track of time."

"Hey, you're welcome to crash here, Guerin. You're my friend and life's rough."

He looked down. "Before Liz came and catalyzed the shit storm, I didn't really have friends. I don't know what to do with all you people."

"Oh, I charge a monthly friend fee," Rosa said, leaning past Alex and sticking her hand out. "Fifty bucks."

"Jesus, you're expensive, Ortecho."

"That's actually a deal," Maria said. She pulled out a bag of pretzels from beneath the bar and offered them around. "What do we pay, Alex, like eighty a month for the pleasure of Rosa's friendship?"

"What, that's it? I pay a hundred."

"You guys are messing with me," Michael said. 

"Definitely," Alex said, and each of them put a hand on Michael's shoulder. 

"I'm not," Rosa said, jumping down and walking around Alex. "But I also take payment in hugs. You up for it, alien boy?"

He laughed and spread his arms. 

"Holy shit you do a good hug, I might even be in to you," she grumbled into his shoulder. 

"I never thought I'd say this to _ you_, but Rosa, you are way too young for me."

"Praise the Lord." She sat back down on his opposite side and they turned back to face Maria.

Michael stared down at the counter for a moment. He looked up and said, "An airman, an alien, and a zombie walk into a psychic bar--"

Maria flicked a pretzel at him, and he stopped it in midair with his brain before letting it drop into his hand. 

"Is there a punchline or did you just want to call me a zombie?" Rosa asked, unimpressed.

"Like you don't bite?"

"Oh, she bites," Alex said. 

"Definitely a biter," Maria agreed.

Rosa showed her teeth. "Fair enough. But Alex made me a new identity. I'm alive again and ready to cause trouble."

"What's your new name?"

"Rosa Jimenez. Liz's cousin on her mom's side but weirdly also somehow Kyle's cousin, just don't try to explain it, it's annoying."

The front door opened. "Michael!"

He stood immediately to meet his sister halfway and hugged her tightly. She eyed the three at the bar over his shoulder. "You haven't answered any of my calls, what happened?"

"I don't know where my phone is. It's probably dead. And I was asleep. And I was dissociating?"

"Like me? At least you didn't wander off into the middle of the desert," Isobel said, patting his back. She caught Maria's eye. "You were taking care of him?"

"I didn't realize he was sleeping so much," she admitted. "But he's been staying here."

"Speaking of which, I would really like to go back to sleep," Michael mumbled. 

She saw Alex shaking his head. "Why not?" she said.

"When did you wake up today, Guerin?" he asked.

He groaned and retreated from the hug to answer. "I dunno, an hour ago?"

"Did you eat?"

"You literally just saw me eat a pretzel."

Alex waved his hand, point proven.

"Are you hungry now?" Isobel asked. 

He made a face. "No."

"Michael, what _ have _ you been eating?" Maria said. "I've offered to share dinner with you and you always said you just ate."

He shrugged. "Bread? A pop tart? A whole bunch of acetone-laced alcohol? I don't remember. I didn't even know it's been so long."

"Mmm, depression meals," Rosa said. "Guess you never found any cans of frosting. That's the good stuff."

"How are you standing right now?" Isobel demanded.

"The magic of friendship, Izzy."

She sighed and looked at Alex. "Can I text you, since you're the one who seems to know how fucked up he is?"

"Of course."

Isobel looked to Maria. "Is any of his shit here?"

She shook her head. "Haven't seen any. Check his truck."

She gave Rosa a curt nod, and she returned a mock salute. "Have fun."

Isobel turned Michael away, asking what he'd like to eat as they left. 

Alex took out his phone to text the number Michael had called and wracked his brain for everything his therapist had ever told him about PTSD. 

"You didn't tell me you guys had been together after high school," Maria said after a couple minutes. She nodded at Rosa.

"I didn't even want to tell you it was him," Alex said. "I didn't want to out him."

"Okay, point taken." She sighed. "I told him not to tell anyone about Texas, but he told you anyway, didn't he?"

"No, I figured it out, like you figured out about me and him."

"You're both nerds," Rosa announced. "Have we learned a valuable lesson about communication today?"

"We all suck at it," Alex said glumly; his phone dinged with a thank you from Isobel.

"And empathy isn't the same thing." Maria reached forward to pat Alex on the cheek, and he brightened up. 

"Cool, can I have a drink now?"

"I'm going to need to see some ID, Miss Jimenez."

Rosa held out her hand without looking away from Maria. "Alex, gimme my ID."

He patted his pockets before he remembered. "It's still on the printer."

"What?" she squawked, spinning on her stool.

"Wait, you actually made her twenty-one?"

"I'm twenty-two, thank you very much."

Alex shrugged. "She was born in 1989, the slight age bump seemed a fair compromise."

"I would actually die again if my birth year was in 2000," Rosa told her.

"Mmhm. Well, no ID, no drink. You look nineteen." Maria gave the same careless shrug as Alex.

"Unbelievable. Come on, Alex, I want an alcohol." She pulled him off of the stool. "I bet you've got like, fancy German beer at home, right?"

"I've got cheap-ass domestic beer at the cabin, and it's getting kind of late, are you staying with me tonight?"

"Uh, I think Liz said she was going to pick me up at..." Rosa looked down and grumbled. "I dunno, text her."

Liz's response came quickly: she was already there. 

"Huh," said Rosa.

"Might be easier if she went in and got your ID and then picked you up from here," Alex said. "You want to zombie watch for a while, Maria?"

"I'm incredibly offended."

He only gave her a teasing grin.

"I'll give you _ one _ shot of tequila," Maria offered.

Rosa sighed loudly. "You guys aren't fun anymore."

"Nope. See you around," Alex said, hugging the girls in turn.

"Bye Alex. Talk more later?" Maria asked. 

He nodded. His phone dinged again as he went out the doors. 

> (Isobel Evans) Isobel said to tell you that she may need you to help with me
> 
> (Isobel Evans) (She's driving)
> 
> (Isobel Evans) I don't think I need people to take care of me though
> 
> (Sent) I want to
> 
> (Isobel Evans) It's gonna be shitty. I'm an asshole
> 
> (Sent) I want to, Michael. It's you.
> 
> (Isobel Evans) If you're sure

Alex got into his car. 

> (Sent) I am. Call me whenever you need me.

His phone rang a moment later, and he chatted with the alien siblings all the way home.


End file.
